Bitter\Sweet

         

Bitter\Sweet

Her nervousness was clear as she slipped into the booth opposite the young woman, clutching her bulky messenger bag in front of her chest and stomach. She fidgeted several times, finding it impossible to sit comfortably, all the while avoiding her direct eye contact. She nodded and smiled timidly.

“It’s about time,” Cassidy smiled wickedly, straw of water halfway in her lips. She gazed at her unabashedly, surveying every inch of her “friend”.

“Please, stay a while,” she said, gesturing to the girl’s bag.

Cara nodded again, lips tight, and pulled the bag over her shoulder and placed it on her side, pressing it against the wall. She sighed curtly.

“I don’t really know why I’m here,” she admitted, stamping her palms against the vinyl cushion of her seat. Her ankles and knees were strained together beneath the table.

“It’s not really like me to even take a chance like this. But I’m sure…you already knew that.”

Cassidy’s long, chestnut hair slid down her shoulders as she grinned. She took a short sip of water and set the glass aside, then unwrapped a stick of gum and began to chew on it thoughtfully.

“Cara, my dear, it would alarm you to know just what I know.” Her gaze was bright and intimidating and ruthless. “But something tells me, that you know just as much as I do.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she stared at her, giving Cara a visible chill.

“Do you ladies know what you want?” A waiter asked, lingering suddenly at the edge of the table. Cassidy’s eyes perked and she met the waiter’s eyes, lashes fluttering and head tilted to the side.

“I’ll just have a coffee for now,” she said sweetly, voice laced with flirtation and shoulders rolled back so that her coiled hair fell down in waves.

The waiter smiled back, sheepishly at first, eyes falling to his notepad, then back up to hers when he realized she was still staring at him.

“And for you, miss?”

Cara folded the menu in half and inched it toward the end of the table, eyes fixed on its curling edges.

“I’ll have the same,” she started, voice low and nearly breaking. “With milk, please.”

“No problem,” he concluded, collecting their menus, and smiling once again when he noticed Cassidy eyeing the logo on his shirt, or perhaps his chest, or biceps. And she continued to stare, unapologetically, as he walked away and left them with a generous view of his backside.

“A little obvious, don’t you think?” Cara pointed out.

“Oh please,” she retorted, “obvious is the only thing that gets through to guys.”

A moment later the waiter returned with their coffees, setting the drinks down before them cautiously and placing the silver tin of milk by Cara.

“Anything else I could get for you ladies?”

Cara began to shake her head, lips parting.

“—No, we’re fine for now, thanks sweetie.”

And she smiled as his eyes glowed at her, and he pushed a tuft of napkins toward her cup.

“…Well if there’s anything you need from me, let me know.”

And he winked and turned to walk away.

“Gotta hand it to ya,” Cara started, watching Cassidy unroll the torn piece of paper hiding beneath the napkins. His phone number. “The obvious thing seems to work.”

She laughed, wad of gum rolling in her mouth.

“Yeah,” she said, scanning the piece of paper. “Too bad he’s nowhere near my type.” And she brought the paper to her lips with one hand and used it to dispose of her gum. Cara smiled, scoffing.

They both sipped their coffee, Cara’s light with sugar, and Cassidy’s black and harsh. They sat in silence for a moment, peering occasionally towards the window where the sun was beginning to fall outside, or the long, horizontal mirrors that hung opposite them. Then their eyes found each other, as if by accident.

“You know me well enough to know that I don’t like to waste time,” Cassidy said, voice somewhat hushed, cup set on her plate, halfway drained. “You either want this or you don’t. So are you gonna make a choice or not?”

Cara sighed and closed her eyes. She pushed her emptied cup away from her.

“I don’t know,” she said with finality. “I just know that, lately, it’s been…so…”

“Boring?” she offered, sarcastic cock to her eyebrows.

She sighed again, looking away.

“You could say that. Look Cassidy,”

“—Call me Cassie,” she said.

Her eyes flickered towards her.

“Look, Cassie,” she corrected. “I’m not like you. I can’t just go around living my life doing whatever I want and not feeling responsible for the consequences. I feel, I care. It’s what human beings do, generally. We care about other human beings.”

Cassie’s eyes hardened and seemed to turn blacker than they were.

“And how far has that gotten you?” she said smoothly, head tilted once again, eyeing Cara’s slicked back hair, neatly pulled away from her face and bangs pinned in a sophisticated wave on her head.

“I mean, come on. You’re in your mid-twenties and what have you really done? And I’m not talking about academics,” she said, waving her off. “Or work. Look at you. You’re oozing with boredom, with lackluster. I can smell it from over here. You’re tired--no, exhausted, from the repetitive monotony of routine. Admit it.”

She bit her bottom lip and chewed it for a moment, before looking at her.

“Exactly. And that’s why I’ve come to you for help.” She brought her eyes to Cassie’s and stared at her, and this time did not break her gaze.

“But let me make one thing clear,” Cara began, voice even and low. “I cannot, and will not, harm another human being. You will never turn me into that, Cassie. No matter how far off the edge I’ve gone.”

They glared at each other for several moments.

“I’m not like you.”

Cassie smiled her wicked smile.

“Oh, I think you are.” And she sat back, confident, gaze unbending and unrelenting. “You just don’t know it yet.” She slipped her hands behind her head, elbows pointed in the air. “But I guess…we’ll see.”

The two women stared at each other, unblinking, unyielding, and identical.

“Yes,” Cara answered, watching the face that looked so much like hers, yet couldn’t be more different. “We’ll see.”