Bitter\Sweet
Her nervousness was clear as she slipped
into the booth opposite the young woman, clutching her bulky messenger bag in
front of her chest and stomach. She fidgeted several times, finding it
impossible to sit comfortably, all the while avoiding her direct eye contact.
She nodded and smiled timidly.
“It’s about time,” Cassidy smiled
wickedly, straw of water halfway in her lips. She gazed at her unabashedly,
surveying every inch of her “friend”.
“Please, stay a while,” she said,
gesturing to the girl’s bag.
Cara nodded again, lips tight, and
pulled the bag over her shoulder and placed it on her side, pressing it against
the wall. She sighed curtly.
“I don’t really know why I’m here,” she
admitted, stamping her palms against the vinyl cushion of her seat. Her ankles
and knees were strained together beneath the table.
“It’s not really like me to even take a
chance like this. But I’m sure…you already knew that.”
Cassidy’s long, chestnut hair slid down
her shoulders as she grinned. She took a short sip of water and set the glass
aside, then unwrapped a stick of gum and began to chew on it thoughtfully.
“Cara, my dear, it would alarm you to
know just what I know.” Her gaze was bright and intimidating and ruthless. “But
something tells me, that you know just as much as I do.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly as she stared
at her, giving Cara a visible chill.
“Do you ladies know what you want?” A
waiter asked, lingering suddenly at the edge of the table. Cassidy’s eyes
perked and she met the waiter’s eyes, lashes fluttering and head tilted to the
side.
“I’ll just have a coffee for now,” she
said sweetly, voice laced with flirtation and shoulders rolled back so that her
coiled hair fell down in waves.
The waiter smiled back, sheepishly at
first, eyes falling to his notepad, then back up to hers when he realized she
was still staring at him.
“And for you, miss?”
Cara folded the menu in half and inched
it toward the end of the table, eyes fixed on its curling edges.
“I’ll have the same,” she started, voice
low and nearly breaking. “With milk, please.”
“No problem,” he concluded, collecting
their menus, and smiling once again when he noticed Cassidy eyeing the logo on
his shirt, or perhaps his chest, or biceps. And she continued to stare,
unapologetically, as he walked away and left them with a generous view of his
backside.
“A little obvious, don’t you think?”
Cara pointed out.
“Oh please,” she retorted, “obvious is
the only thing that gets through to guys.”
A moment later the waiter returned with
their coffees, setting the drinks down before them cautiously and placing the
silver tin of milk by Cara.
“Anything else I could get for you
ladies?”
Cara began to shake her head, lips
parting.
“—No, we’re fine for now, thanks
sweetie.”
And she smiled as his eyes glowed at
her, and he pushed a tuft of napkins toward her cup.
“…Well if there’s anything you need from
me, let me know.”
And he winked and turned to walk away.
“Gotta hand it to ya,” Cara started,
watching Cassidy unroll the torn piece of paper hiding beneath the napkins. His
phone number. “The obvious thing seems to work.”
She laughed, wad of gum rolling in her
mouth.
“Yeah,” she said, scanning the piece of
paper. “Too bad he’s nowhere near my type.” And she brought the paper to her
lips with one hand and used it to dispose of her gum. Cara smiled, scoffing.
They both sipped their coffee, Cara’s
light with sugar, and Cassidy’s black and harsh. They sat in silence for a
moment, peering occasionally towards the window where the sun was beginning to
fall outside, or the long, horizontal mirrors that hung opposite them. Then their
eyes found each other, as if by accident.
“You know me well enough to know that I
don’t like to waste time,” Cassidy said, voice somewhat hushed, cup set on her
plate, halfway drained. “You either want this or you don’t. So are you gonna
make a choice or not?”
Cara sighed and closed her eyes. She
pushed her emptied cup away from her.
“I don’t know,” she said with finality.
“I just know that, lately, it’s been…so…”
“Boring?” she offered, sarcastic cock to
her eyebrows.
She sighed again, looking away.
“You could say that. Look Cassidy,”
“—Call me Cassie,” she said.
Her eyes flickered towards her.
“Look, Cassie,” she corrected. “I’m not like you. I can’t just go around
living my life doing whatever I want and not feeling responsible for the
consequences. I feel, I care. It’s what human beings do, generally. We care about other human beings.”
Cassie’s eyes hardened and seemed to
turn blacker than they were.
“And how far has that gotten you?” she
said smoothly, head tilted once again, eyeing Cara’s slicked back hair, neatly
pulled away from her face and bangs pinned in a sophisticated wave on her head.
“I mean, come on. You’re in your
mid-twenties and what have you really done?
And I’m not talking about academics,” she said, waving her off. “Or work. Look
at you. You’re oozing with boredom,
with lackluster. I can smell it from over here. You’re tired--no, exhausted, from the repetitive monotony
of routine. Admit it.”
She bit her bottom lip and chewed it for
a moment, before looking at her.
“Exactly. And that’s why I’ve come to
you for help.” She brought her eyes to Cassie’s and stared at her, and this
time did not break her gaze.
“But let me make one thing clear,” Cara
began, voice even and low. “I cannot, and will not, harm another human being.
You will never turn me into that, Cassie. No matter how far off the edge I’ve
gone.”
They glared at each other for several
moments.
“I’m not like you.”
Cassie smiled her wicked smile.
“Oh, I think you are.” And she sat back,
confident, gaze unbending and unrelenting. “You just don’t know it yet.” She
slipped her hands behind her head, elbows pointed in the air. “But I
guess…we’ll see.”
The two women stared at each other, unblinking,
unyielding, and identical.
“Yes,” Cara answered, watching the face
that looked so much like hers, yet couldn’t be more different. “We’ll see.”
